The next morning......

 The next morning......

I don't know if someone has ever discussed that morning when you open your eyes and you are just 5-6 seconds into that awakeness and just want to shut it off!

People often talk about the bad days, how difficult it was to survive, and the trauma they carry because of them, but today I want to discuss the morning after that horrific day. You open your eyes, your senses are just coming back from the deep sleep you had, and your mind starts to wonder why are my eyes feeling so heavy, why is my stomach hurting, why am I feeling itchiness on my face, and then BOOM, your mind is alive again to remind you everything so clearly what happened the last day, your day is ruined as soon as you woke up that void feeling could never be expressed to anybody. The sun is not shinning the way it does, your job is not giving you that kick, the flowers are not blooming, that one person who over crossed your car is your enemy now, the food is not tasting good, anybody who is trying to talk to you is just so irritating, your bed is a mess again, your things are not at their place, maybe you kept the remote in the fridge, you lost all the direction sense now, your body is just not enough, your most loving parents are annoying you when they are just trying to help you and what not? All the energy is wasted in just keeping yourself sane and performing basic human activities. The worst part about that never-ending morning is that you can never tell when it will be over.

But you know what? some days are just like that or maybe some months are just like that, one fine day you are going to wake up and don't feel any of those things again, you are just going to get rid of that feeling and start to feel neutral again, I am not saying happy but neutral because your lil heart is realizing how much damage that one day has done to your job, your health, your healthy habits you were super proud of, how much it has destroyed relationships with your parents, friends, colleagues and the most important relationship with your own damn self. This realization is going to tear you apart but at the same time, you will be done destroying these beautiful things. 

And now you are going to wake up, make your bed, have tea with your parents try to laugh at your dad's silly jokes, want to work, smile at random kids, be a patient driver, organize your day and things, you are going to find that remote at the table again lol, because that is who you are, sometimes you have to force yourself to do those things because you can't let one incident destroy your whole existence. you are a beautiful person inside and out, you made one mistake or somebody else made some mistake you got to move on from that. After a few months or years you are going to feel happy, so just take your time, vent it out, and do all the tantrums in front of your loved ones because they are going to take care of you no matter what.

They say after you heal you will never be the same again and I think that is the most beautiful thing, who wants to be that same person anyways, you didn't go through all of that to remain that old self, you survived and learned so many lessons, you got the experience to handle yourself if that familiar thing happened again, look at you all brand new, with a new vision, wisdom, patience and a lil heart with hope <3.

Shit happens, it happened not just open your fist and let it flow. Because if you don't feel sad today how are you going to feel your blessings deep-heartedly tomorrow?